It is not uncommon for divorced parents to disagree on how the holidays should be shared and celebrated. If it isn’t an issue in the original divorce, it might become an issue years later as parties remarry and have other extended family or children to consider. Perhaps the initial arrangement the parents reached no longer works for them, or the children are getting older and expressing their preferences that are not aligned with the court order.
What to do?
If this is you and you are at an impasse with your child’s other parent over holiday parenting time, some strategies can help.
Prioritize the children
Remember that the children’s best interests should be the main focus in all decisions that involve them. Their well-being, stability, health and happiness are most important, and approaching discussions with this in mind can shift the conversation from an argument to a dialogue about what is best for them.
Communicate well and openly
If you have not done so already, try having an open conversation with your child’s other parent. Focus on using “I” statements, such as “I feel that…” instead of accusatory statements, like “You always do this” or “You never let the kids do this.”
Find a compromise
Think of possible ways to spend time with your child during the holidays. What is a good compromise that considers your child’s best interests first and your preferences second?
Find a mediator
If you cannot agree, contact your attorney and consider mediation. Attorneys can be present at mediation and help you negotiate the best outcome for yourself and your child or you navigate mediation without attorneys. Mediation is highly successful and can help facilitate a conversation with the other parent that is civil, respectful and non-adversarial.
Negotiating holiday parenting can be tricky, and as we approach the holiday season, you may be wondering how to speak to the other parent about it. Remember to keep your child’s best interests at the forefront and to communicate respectfully with the other party.